Decisions, Decisions

so I've been thinking a lot about my future lately and about the decisions I have to make- some life changing, others not so much, but lots of decisions regardless. no matter how much I ponder over these things in my head, nothing seems to work out. I come up with dozens of ways to change things and make my life go in a planned direction, but then things never work out as planned anyway. so I started to think about not planning at all, then I wouldn't be disappointed when it didn't happen as I put on my list to accomplish. but that seemed stupid because I would just be floating through life, when I know deep down there is a very real and true purpose to my life on earth. today while I was sitting through one of my church meetings, I felt as though God was knocking me over the head with a baseball bat. The person speaking was not even talking about anything to do with my concerns or even about what I felt, but as I was sitting there I got the feeling that I was thinking about myself too much. when I was on my mission, I didn't have time to think about myself because I was constantly figuring out how to serve the people around me, and life was GREAT! things always seemed to work out. now that I am home, I have more time to think about myself because I am not focusing on serving people as much and to be honest, that has gone by the wayside for the past little while. I don't know what those of you reading this believe, but I believe that when you are serving those around you and focusing on their needs more than yours, God blesses you in ways you didn't even think of and your life just seems to go smoother. so as I was sitting there this afternoon, I thought to myself, that I was thinking about my own life a little too much and focusing on blessing the lives of others a little too less. all in all, the conclusion I came to was that I need to stop thinking of myself, focus a little more on those around me and God will do the rest.